| Location | Swanley, Kent |
| Age | 1 month, 9 days |
| Cause of Death | Cot Death/Sudden Infant Death Syndrome |
| Date of Birth | 26/05/2006 |
| Date of Death | 05/07/2006 |
| Visitors | 17,853 since 08/01/2007 |
| Creator |
I can only apologise for not visiting all of your angels sites recently, but with Billy's
anniversary's and summer holidays, i haven't been able to come on here much, i am back now and will
hopefully be able to find my way around this new site to light candles again, thank you for all of
your support xxxxx
Billy Christopher Handley
26-05-06 -- 05-07-06
First child of Natasha Doyle
loved and missed forever and always x
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When i was pregnant with billy, i used to sing a song from mary poppins to my bump...its only now,
that he has gone, that i realise how important the words are, and how i didn't realise at the time
how much i would wish he really hadn't gone to sleep that final night...
Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
I miss my little man so much, and i apologise to everyone for not visiting your angels sites much
lately, i promise i will get stronger soon and will then be able to light daily candles again, i
just cant face it at the moment, and i'm so sorry xxxxx
Thank you to all the friends that have come into my life through GTS, i dont know what i would do
without you all, you all know who you are,
Lots of love to all of you, and all of your precious angels too,
Natasha xxxxx
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Billy was snatched away from me when he was 6 weeks old due to SIDs, he will be forever in my
thoughts and i miss him more than words could ever say.
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An angel with the book of life wrote down my baby's birth,
and whispered as she closed the book, "too beautiful for earth" xXx
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He was a truly beaultiful baby who meant the world to me and everyone thet knew him and met him. He
went through so much in his short little life, yet never complained, never grumbled, just lay in his
cot, smile and look about being nosey. He bought me so much happiness, and taught me a lot of very
important things, and I will hold his memories in my hearts until the day comes for us to meet again
one day in heaven. He most certainly did me very proud, my "little soldior" and I will never ever
forget him, he was and will always be my little man, who i will love and miss forever and always.
Billy was born with a condition called Gastroschisis which he had surgery to repair when he was 24
hours and then again at 62 hours old, and he got over this extremeley well, and became a healthy
beautiful little baby just like any other. he was due to come home from a 5 week stay in
hospital...the house was all ready for him to arrive the last night me and his daddy said goodnight
to him, when he went to sleep and decided he was too tired, and he became the most beautiful angel
to ever arrive in heaven, i just hope he is sitting on his cloud watching over all of us who loved
him more than anything in the world, and who miss him more and more each day, I love you Billy,
always and forever, mummy's little soldior, just you have lots of fun up there with all the other
little angels, and Mummy will see you again one day, until then, you will forever be in my thoughts
and my heart xxxXxxx
You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go
How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see
You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.
Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.
Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.
Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?
No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?
I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.
How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?
Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their child’s casket,
watched it perched above a grave?
You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.
If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.
Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."
Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.
I swear that I'll remember
till the day I'm very old,
the friend who sat and held my hand
and let me bare my soul
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You will always be my little boy
Till my very dying day,
The Love and Pride I feel for you
Will never go away.
I miss holding you in my arms
Or you lying on my chest,
Stroking your tiny angel face
Just watching while you rest.
Each day we spent together
You gave me so much joy,
No one could ever make me smile
Like my precious baby boy.
Then that night you went to sleep
And never woke again,
Now all I'm left is emptiness,
Loneliness and pain.
Each morning I wake up
I can't believe that you're not there,
I miss my little man so much
The pain's too hard to bear.
I'll always Love You Billy
Till the day I die,
But just remember that you'll always be
'Mummy's Little Guy'.
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I am drawn, quietly to his grave to check on him,
Just as I'd have been drawn quietly to his crib.
I trim the grass around his marker,
And dream of trimming bangs from his forehead.
I place flowers in his vase,
And dream of placing kisses on his cheek.
I hold his memory dear to my heart,
And dream of of holding him in my arms.
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Below is a poem that was read at Billy's funeral:-
If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I’d walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and then run back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Thank you,"
"Please forgive me," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today
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To My Gorgeous Little Billy...
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious Baby Son xx
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I would just like to thank everyone that takes the time to write messages and light candles for
Billy, This web page is such a big comfort for me and it means the world to me that people take the
time to write such lovely things, Thank You again, x
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I cannot dial your number
I can't get through to you
I called the operator
She did all that she could do
There is no code to heaven
I cannot place the call
No numbers left to try
I reckon i've tried them all
If heaven had a phone
I'd ring it every day
If heaven had a phone
Theres things I want to say
Tell you that I love you
Miss you since you went away
And how much I prayed to god
That he could have let you stay
Oh darling, if heaven had a phone
Theres things I want to know
Things I want to tell you
How do you feel?
Should I stay or should I go?
Are you looking over me
Do you see me cry a tear
Questions I want to ask
Answers I need to hear
If heaven had a phone
I'd ring it every day
My life has had no meaning
Since the day god took you away
I only know more sadness
More tears again today
Maybe one day i'll smile without you
Until then I will always cry
One day the sun may shine for me
Like it did for you and I
My life was for tomorrow
Now my life is yesterday
I cannot face this world alone
Please show me the way
If heaven had a phone
I'd ring you every day
If heaven had a phone
I'd hear your voice, know that you're okay
I just want to speak to heaven
please do you have a direct line
Operator says no number
But your loved one says they're doing fine
Love always Elaine x♥x♥
You are invited to Baby Angel's party in the clouds on 1st March...it will last all day long...I really hope you can make it. lots of love xxxxxxxxxxx
~~ The Angels ~~
May angels rest beside your door
May you hear their voices sing
May you feel their loving care for you
May you hear their peace bells ring
May angels always care for you
And not let you trip and fall
May they bear you up on angels wings
May they keep you standing tall
May they whisper wisdom in your ear
May they touch you when you need
May they remove you from each trace of fear
May they keep you from feeling greed
May they fill you with their presence
May they show you love untold
May they always stand beside you
And make you ever bold
May they teach you what you want to know
About life here and here-after
May they fill you always with their love
And give you the gift of laughter
~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~
~~ Angel In My Pocket ~~
I am a tiny angel
I'm smaller than your thumb
I live in peoples pockets
That's where I have my fun
I don't suppose you've seen me
I'm too tiny to detect
Though i'm with you all the time
I doubt we've ever met
Before I was an angel...
I was a fairy in a flower
God himself hand picked me
And gave me angel power
Now god has many angels
That he trains in angel pools
We become his eyes and ears and hands
We become his special tools
And because god is so busy
With way too much to do
He said that my assignment
Is to keep close watch on you
When he tucked me in your pocket
He blessed you with angel care
Then told me to never leave you
And I vowed always to be there
~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~
~~ Guardian Angels ~~
When angels sense you need them
and angels always do.....
they come unseen from everywhere
to help and comfort you
they hover close beside you
till all your cares are gone
till they can see you're ready
once again to carry on
Then some of them may fly away
and take their gentle touch
to other hearts that need
the love of angels very much
but one at least stays with you
as your constant friend and guide
for guardian angels never leave
they're always at your side
~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~
Love Always ~~ Elaine...x♥x
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
I've listened to the footprints poem
a million times or more
of how when only one set shows
upon the sandy shore
it's the lord carrying us
and taking on our load
and his are the only set
of footprints that showed
But what if when we look
there are no footprints to be found?
all we see is plain and simple
sand upon the ground
no imprints showing that our lord
is carrying us through life
helping us when we feel
we can not handle all this strife
Where is my lord now that i've fallen
and can't seem to get back up?
so tired and lonely
trying to deal with what seems
an overflowing cup
where are those footprints
in the sand
to tell me he's right there?
helping me with problems
and showing that he really does care
Does he have favourites, OH NO
please tell me that's not so
but why does life seem easier
for some people that I know?
and sometimes I just scream out loud
although it seems in vain
but often gets harder each day
to deal with all this pain
And then it dawned on me
as I realize how simple could it be
I wonder why I was so blind
that I truly did not see
it must have been a lightening bolt
that one day gave me light
because out of the clear blue sky
I finally regained my sight
I saw a fluffy white cloud
shaped like an angel dear
that helped me to understand
and see things oh so clear
that's when I saw no footprints
and so often wondered why
my lord carried me on angel wings
when he decided to fly.
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
Love always elaine xxxxxx
ANGEL WINGS YOU WEAR...♥ღ♥
The day you left broke our hearts
and the tears fell like rain,
but knowing that you now have wings
helps to ease the pain.
♥ღ♥
We know now when the snow falls
it is Angel dust from you
and when we see a shooting star
our Angel just passed through.
♥ღ♥
The rain drops do not make us sad
for they are not tears,
but sprinkles of love falling down,
our Angel again is near.
♥ღ♥
The winter cold has even changed,
Jack Frost no longer exists,
it's now a visit from our Angel
and he's left a special gift.
♥ღ♥
You also visit in the night,
your wings flutter with grace,
we know now when we awaken
that an Angel has kissed our face.
♥ღ♥
When the days are warm and bright
and the sun shines from above,
we feel the warmth wrap around us,
you've given an Angel hug.
♥ღ♥
You are with us at all times,
every day and night,
you try to end the pain we have
and the tears that we still cry.
♥ღ♥
Though Heaven is your home now
and Angel wings you wear,
you stay close to those you love,
until they join you there.
♥ღ♥
Written by: Dolly Lee
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_***________________ ______***__
_***_________*IM*___ ______***__
__***_____*THINKING* _____***___
___***_______*OF*___ ____***____
____***_____*YOU *____ _***_____
______***____♥ ♥ ♥ ____**______
________***_________ ***________
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____________***_***_ ___________
______________***___ ___________
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Love always elaine xxxxxxxx
I love you little man
Hiya pumpkin,
I'm sure you re already aware that mummy has been having a few problems lately and not been very well, my fingers and toes were crossed but things were not meant to be, and now daddy and i arent getting on too well, i just want you to know that no matter what happens, we both love you so so much, and maybe we aren't able to be friends together at the moment, but as two people you mean the whole world to each of us.
You are and always will be the very best thing that ever happened to me and i miss you more and more with every passing second, i always have and i always will.
Daddy and I are currently looking at ordering your headstone, sorry its taken so long munchkin, but we wanted to make sure we found the perfect stone for our little man, as its so final, and now we think we've finally found exactly what we wanted.
Anyway...enough of mummy nattering on now, you have lots of fun in the bright blue sky darling, and stay close, remember, i love you and miss you more and more every pasing second.
All my love, forever and always,
Mummy xxXxx
ღ Good Morning Little Angel
Have lots of fun playing today But make sure
You wrap up warm its cold and blowy
Sending love and hugs to you and your Family ღ
♥ Hello little Angel ♥
Fiona is so sorry she hasnt visited you in a while, Ive been away and had things to do, I didnt have my computer with me and the laptop I was using was soo slow, I knew you wouldnt mind because I have been thinking of you every day as I always do, I hope your Mummy is ok, and Im back now to light candles every day, So Little one, I'll see you tomorrow, sleep tight x
Love Fiona x
This Tribute Is For This Weekend
Candles Will Be Lit On Sunday Night As Usual
Everyone Have A Good Weekend
To My Dearest Family, Some Things I'd Like To Say.
But first of all, to let you know,
That I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
Just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every
Morning, Noon and Night.
That day I had to leave you
When my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me
And He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on.
There's so much that we have to do,
To help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things,
That he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
Was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night
The day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....
In the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
And all those loving years.
Because you are only human,
They are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry:
It does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
Unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
All that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
You wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
Though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
Than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you
And many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
By taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
And I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
The world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
Who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......
"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....
My life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
Who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
As on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street
And you've got Me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
Only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go....
From that body to be free.
Remember you're not going.....
You're coming here to Me.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
The moment that you died,
My heart split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.
I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheeks.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.
For those who still have their LOVED ONES,
Treat them with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they’re not there.
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
Hugs from Heaven....
Hugs From Heaven
by Charlotte Anselmo
When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high.
If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
They've added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose.
If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From someone special up above.
If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.
If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel lace.
So keep the joy in your heart
If you're lonely my dear friend
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A broken heart will mend.
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