| Location | Swanley, Kent |
| Age | 1 month, 9 days |
| Cause of Death | Cot Death/Sudden Infant Death Syndrome |
| Date of Birth | 26/05/2006 |
| Date of Death | 05/07/2006 |
| Visitors | 17,920 since 08/01/2007 |
| Creator |
I can only apologise for not visiting all of your angels sites recently, but with Billy's
anniversary's and summer holidays, i haven't been able to come on here much, i am back now and will
hopefully be able to find my way around this new site to light candles again, thank you for all of
your support xxxxx
Billy Christopher Handley
26-05-06 -- 05-07-06
First child of Natasha Doyle
loved and missed forever and always x
****************************
When i was pregnant with billy, i used to sing a song from mary poppins to my bump...its only now,
that he has gone, that i realise how important the words are, and how i didn't realise at the time
how much i would wish he really hadn't gone to sleep that final night...
Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
I miss my little man so much, and i apologise to everyone for not visiting your angels sites much
lately, i promise i will get stronger soon and will then be able to light daily candles again, i
just cant face it at the moment, and i'm so sorry xxxxx
Thank you to all the friends that have come into my life through GTS, i dont know what i would do
without you all, you all know who you are,
Lots of love to all of you, and all of your precious angels too,
Natasha xxxxx
****************************
****************************
Billy was snatched away from me when he was 6 weeks old due to SIDs, he will be forever in my
thoughts and i miss him more than words could ever say.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
An angel with the book of life wrote down my baby's birth,
and whispered as she closed the book, "too beautiful for earth" xXx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He was a truly beaultiful baby who meant the world to me and everyone thet knew him and met him. He
went through so much in his short little life, yet never complained, never grumbled, just lay in his
cot, smile and look about being nosey. He bought me so much happiness, and taught me a lot of very
important things, and I will hold his memories in my hearts until the day comes for us to meet again
one day in heaven. He most certainly did me very proud, my "little soldior" and I will never ever
forget him, he was and will always be my little man, who i will love and miss forever and always.
Billy was born with a condition called Gastroschisis which he had surgery to repair when he was 24
hours and then again at 62 hours old, and he got over this extremeley well, and became a healthy
beautiful little baby just like any other. he was due to come home from a 5 week stay in
hospital...the house was all ready for him to arrive the last night me and his daddy said goodnight
to him, when he went to sleep and decided he was too tired, and he became the most beautiful angel
to ever arrive in heaven, i just hope he is sitting on his cloud watching over all of us who loved
him more than anything in the world, and who miss him more and more each day, I love you Billy,
always and forever, mummy's little soldior, just you have lots of fun up there with all the other
little angels, and Mummy will see you again one day, until then, you will forever be in my thoughts
and my heart xxxXxxx
You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go
How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see
You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.
Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.
Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.
Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?
No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?
I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.
How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?
Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their child’s casket,
watched it perched above a grave?
You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.
If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.
Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."
Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.
I swear that I'll remember
till the day I'm very old,
the friend who sat and held my hand
and let me bare my soul
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You will always be my little boy
Till my very dying day,
The Love and Pride I feel for you
Will never go away.
I miss holding you in my arms
Or you lying on my chest,
Stroking your tiny angel face
Just watching while you rest.
Each day we spent together
You gave me so much joy,
No one could ever make me smile
Like my precious baby boy.
Then that night you went to sleep
And never woke again,
Now all I'm left is emptiness,
Loneliness and pain.
Each morning I wake up
I can't believe that you're not there,
I miss my little man so much
The pain's too hard to bear.
I'll always Love You Billy
Till the day I die,
But just remember that you'll always be
'Mummy's Little Guy'.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am drawn, quietly to his grave to check on him,
Just as I'd have been drawn quietly to his crib.
I trim the grass around his marker,
And dream of trimming bangs from his forehead.
I place flowers in his vase,
And dream of placing kisses on his cheek.
I hold his memory dear to my heart,
And dream of of holding him in my arms.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Below is a poem that was read at Billy's funeral:-
If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I’d walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and then run back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Thank you,"
"Please forgive me," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To My Gorgeous Little Billy...
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious Baby Son xx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I would just like to thank everyone that takes the time to write messages and light candles for
Billy, This web page is such a big comfort for me and it means the world to me that people take the
time to write such lovely things, Thank You again, x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
~MISSING YOU~
♥.•** •.♥.•** •.♥.♥ ♥ ♥.•** •.♥.•** •.♥.♥ ♥
We may no longer be together
As you're not here with me anymore
But I still feel you deep in my heart
Just the same as it was before.
When I gaze up at Heaven to you
And you look down on me
Our smiles light up the whole sky
For all of Heaven and Earth to see.
Knowing that you are at peace
Brings comfort to my sad heart
And I know God will take care of you
Now that we are apart.
Until we are together again
And sharing our heavenly home
I will always have my Angel in Heaven
Smiling down on me, and never be alone...
♥.•** •.♥.•** •.♥.♥ ♥ ♥.•** •.♥.•** •.♥.♥ ♥
They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason,
will change the way we feel.
For no one knows the heartache,
That lies behind our smiles,
No one knows how many times,
We have broken down and cried.
We want to tell you something,
So there won’t be any doubt,
You’re so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.
We cannot bring the old days back,
When we were all together,
The family chain is broken now,
But memories live forever.
♥.•** •.♥.•** •.♥.♥ ♥ ♥.•** •.♥.•** •.♥.♥ ♥
Sent with love elaine xxxxxxxxx
SENT WITH MY LOVE XXXXXXXXXX
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆
I see you in the evening
and the darkness of the night.
You're with me in the morning,
when all the world is bright.
I feel you in a breeze,
like a tender warm embrace;
I feel you when a snowflake
falls softly on my face.
I hear you when it thunders
and the world seems at an end;
I hear you whisper softly,
'One day your heart will mend'.
I hear you in a bird song
the humming of the bees.
Your voice is strong and vibrant
in the waves of stormy seas.
I see, I feel, I hear you,
you're there in all I do,
guiding and protecting,
until my life is through.
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆
I looked towards the clouds today
And for a moment saw your face.
I wondered just where you have gone
With hope it's a better place.
Did you show yourself to me today,
To tell me you're all right?
Or was it just a daydream
Playing tricks upon my sight?
We will always feel the void inside
Because you are not here.
But each new thought you send our way
Lets us know you're near.
So until our journey nears its end
And we hear the angels sing,
We'll face each new day as it comes
And live off the love you bring.
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆
Love always Elaine (Demi-Leigh's auntie and mary and jimmy hitchens daughter) xxx
♥;;♥ ♥;;♥♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥
There is a place in every heart,
They call it Memory Lane,
Where thoughts of loved ones lost
Forever will remain.
God made this special place
When He first created man,
For He knew it would be needed,
As part of our life's plan.
He knew when loved ones left us,
We'd need some time to heal,
To come to terms with sorrow
And the loneliness we'd feel.
So when you lose a loved one
And your life is filled with pain,
The comfort of their presence
Will be found in Memory Lane.
♥;;♥ ♥;;♥♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥
As the sun came up this morning
I watched you there below
Your hearts seemed oh, so heavy
But theres something you should know
I'm not gone don't worry
I'm just a step ahead
And i'm with you every single day
As you rise up from your bed
I am the sun that warms you
I am the moons soft glow
I am the stars that twinkle
And lights your path below
So when at times you miss me
Just look for me i'm there
For you cannot hide my spirit
It is with you everywhere...
Love Always Elaine xxxxxxx
I see tears fall down your face
When your thoughts have turned to me.
Just know that I’m in heaven,
With my Lord, who’s set me free.
No pain or sadness do I feel,
For God is by my side.
The beauty here in Heaven
Is now where I reside.
I know it’s hard for you to cope
For you can’t feel my touch.
But every moment, I can see
And love you very much.
When you are at your lowest
And feel you can’t go on,
Look towards the heavens
The light will be turned on.
Talk to me, just like you did
On earth when I was there.
You see, I’m not so far away …
Only as far as a prayer.
And when it’s time for you to join
Me up in Heaven above.
It’s then that you will realize,
The Golden Place of love.
For here there is no sadness,
Just everlasting light.
Someday we will be joined again,
When it’s time to take your flight.
Love always elaine xxxxxxx
WORDS OF AN ANGEL
May the angels keep you till morning.
May they guide you through the night.
May they comfort all your sorrows.
May they help you win the fight.
May they keep watch on your soul.
May they show you better ways.
May they guard you while you're sleeping.
May they see you through your days.
May they show you new hopes.
May they still your every doubt.
May they calm your every fear.
May they hear you when you shout.
May the angels keep you til morning.
More than this I cannot pray.
And if the angels ever fail you.
Then may God be there that day.
**********************************
Angel of comfort
When each day brings only sadness
and your heart is filled with pain
You will find it hard to believe
that you'll ever smile again
But when your crying deep inside
an angel always hears
And will be there to comfort you
and wipe away your tears
There are wings of love around you
and you can depend upon
Your angel, who will give you hope
and the strength to carry on.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Love always elaine xxxxxxxxxxxxx
~~ The Hand Of God ~~
I felt the hand of god today
it touched my broken heart
it didn't mend it never will
but at least it was a start
He did his best to comfort me
and help me understand
the reason why he took you
into the promised land
The angels must have sung with joy
with arms outstretched with love
and welcome you into the home
they share with god in heaven above
His promise to the kind and good
is joy beyond compare
those things you were abundantly
and of joy you take your share
Try as we might it's hard to grasp
you are no longer here
for all we long for everyday
is to have and hold you near
Our days are filled with longing
to see your smiling face
to enjoy once more the happy times
and share a warm embrace
Instead we struggle on and on
the pain it will not go
with only memories to keep us sane
oh how we miss you so
It's hard to go on living
we are so tired and lonely
each day all we can think is
'why? and oh, if only'
But these are things we cannot change
as much as we might try
and so we go on thinking
'oh, if only and oh why?
Love Elaine xxxxxxxxxxxxx
SENT WITH LOVE XXXXXXXX
God looked around his garden
which was a beautiful sight
he knew there would be others
who could come to him tonight
He tended to his garden daily
to make it a beautiful view
because he knew that others
would help him to tend it too
He prepared for new arrivals
morning, noon and even night
because he wanted heaven to be
a place that was just right
There was precious rosebuds
who didn't bloom on earth
and god had their presence
right from their very birth
There was mothers and fathers
who had gently gone to sleep
he wrapped himself around them
and in heaven he did safely keep
Also grandmothers and grandfathers
whom the angels did hold
keeping them so warm at night
if they should feel the cold
There was also aunts and uncles
maybe a nephew and a little niece
but you can rest assured
they are all very much at peace
If you have lost a dear loved one
their presence is still all around
you might not be able to hear them
but if you look they can be found
Fingerprints and lots of memories
pictures of them thats in your mind
and when you're really missing them
all these things that you can find
The handwriting thats on a card
and maybe a special autograph
and there again, within your mind
is cherished memories of their laugh
Maybe they also had a creative hand
and left behind for you so much
and when you're feeling sad and down
remember to treasure that touch
Go into your mind in times of sadness
and remember what they didn't take above
can you think of just one thing now.....?
well they didn't take with them their love
I know nothing really comforts us
when a cherished loved one has gone
never forget that in your heart and mind
they stay and will always linger on
Love Always ~~ Elaine (demi-leighs auntie, mary and jimmy hitchens daughter)x♥x
An Angels Kiss.
We never stop to measure
Anything we might just miss
But if the wind should blow by softly
You'll feel an Angel's Kiss.
A Kiss that's sent from Heaven
A Kiss from up above
A Kiss that's very special
From someone that you love.
For in your pain and sorrow
A Kiss will help you through
This Kiss is very private
For it's meant for only you.
So when your heart is heavy
And filled with tears and pain
And no-one can console you
Remember once again.
About the one you grieve for
And so sadly miss
That gentle breeze you took for granted
Was your Angel's Kiss.
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Friends are like flowers
Each unique in their own way
Put them all together
What a wonderful bouquet
Some are really brilliant
Full of light sharp and clear
While others are more subdued
To both you can adhere
You are a flower in my garden
That makes up my bouquet
My friends you all make
A very impressive display
Love Always Elaine (Demi-leighs auntie, mary and jimmy hitchens daughter)x♥x
♥★I would just like to thankyou for all your support over the last 5 months, it really means the world to me, due to circumstances I am now taking a big step back from gonetoosoon, I apologise now as there wont be many candles from myself over the coming months, I will be on over christmas to talk to your angels and I will be back for Baileys special days, but for the forseable future please bear with me, your angel will always be thought about daily and I feel so terrible for letting you down, but this is something we need to do as a family,
I sincerly hope you understand xx
Much love to you now and always ♥★
~~ The Angels ~~
May angels rest beside your door
May you hear their voices sing
May you feel their loving care for you
May you hear their peace bells ring
May angels always care for you
And not let you trip and fall
May they bear you up on angels wings
May they keep you standing tall
May they whisper wisdom in your ear
May they touch you when you need
May they remove you from each trace of fear
May they keep you from feeling greed
May they fill you with their presence
May they show you love untold
May they always stand beside you
And make you ever bold
May they teach you what you want to know
About life here and here-after
May they fill you always with their love
And give you the gift of laughter
~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~
~~ Angel In My Pocket ~~
I am a tiny angel
I'm smaller than your thumb
I live in peoples pockets
That's where I have my fun
I don't suppose you've seen me
I'm too tiny to detect
Though i'm with you all the time
I doubt we've ever met
Before I was an angel...
I was a fairy in a flower
God himself hand picked me
And gave me angel power
Now god has many angels
That he trains in angel pools
We become his eyes and ears and hands
We become his special tools
And because god is so busy
With way too much to do
He said that my assignment
Is to keep close watch on you
When he tucked me in your pocket
He blessed you with angel care
Then told me to never leave you
And I vowed always to be there
~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~
~~ Guardian Angels ~~
When angels sense you need them
and angels always do.....
they come unseen from everywhere
to help and comfort you
they hover close beside you
till all your cares are gone
till they can see you're ready
once again to carry on
Then some of them may fly away
and take their gentle touch
to other hearts that need
the love of angels very much
but one at least stays with you
as your constant friend and guide
for guardian angels never leave
they're always at your side
~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~
Lots Of Love Always ~~ Elaine (demi-leighs auntie and mary and jimmy hitchens daughter)...x♥x
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