| Location | Swanley, Kent |
| Age | 1 month, 9 days |
| Cause of Death | Cot Death/Sudden Infant Death Syndrome |
| Date of Birth | 26/05/2006 |
| Date of Death | 05/07/2006 |
| Visitors | 17,853 since 08/01/2007 |
| Creator |
I can only apologise for not visiting all of your angels sites recently, but with Billy's
anniversary's and summer holidays, i haven't been able to come on here much, i am back now and will
hopefully be able to find my way around this new site to light candles again, thank you for all of
your support xxxxx
Billy Christopher Handley
26-05-06 -- 05-07-06
First child of Natasha Doyle
loved and missed forever and always x
****************************
When i was pregnant with billy, i used to sing a song from mary poppins to my bump...its only now,
that he has gone, that i realise how important the words are, and how i didn't realise at the time
how much i would wish he really hadn't gone to sleep that final night...
Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
I miss my little man so much, and i apologise to everyone for not visiting your angels sites much
lately, i promise i will get stronger soon and will then be able to light daily candles again, i
just cant face it at the moment, and i'm so sorry xxxxx
Thank you to all the friends that have come into my life through GTS, i dont know what i would do
without you all, you all know who you are,
Lots of love to all of you, and all of your precious angels too,
Natasha xxxxx
****************************
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Billy was snatched away from me when he was 6 weeks old due to SIDs, he will be forever in my
thoughts and i miss him more than words could ever say.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
An angel with the book of life wrote down my baby's birth,
and whispered as she closed the book, "too beautiful for earth" xXx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He was a truly beaultiful baby who meant the world to me and everyone thet knew him and met him. He
went through so much in his short little life, yet never complained, never grumbled, just lay in his
cot, smile and look about being nosey. He bought me so much happiness, and taught me a lot of very
important things, and I will hold his memories in my hearts until the day comes for us to meet again
one day in heaven. He most certainly did me very proud, my "little soldior" and I will never ever
forget him, he was and will always be my little man, who i will love and miss forever and always.
Billy was born with a condition called Gastroschisis which he had surgery to repair when he was 24
hours and then again at 62 hours old, and he got over this extremeley well, and became a healthy
beautiful little baby just like any other. he was due to come home from a 5 week stay in
hospital...the house was all ready for him to arrive the last night me and his daddy said goodnight
to him, when he went to sleep and decided he was too tired, and he became the most beautiful angel
to ever arrive in heaven, i just hope he is sitting on his cloud watching over all of us who loved
him more than anything in the world, and who miss him more and more each day, I love you Billy,
always and forever, mummy's little soldior, just you have lots of fun up there with all the other
little angels, and Mummy will see you again one day, until then, you will forever be in my thoughts
and my heart xxxXxxx
You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go
How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see
You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.
Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.
Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.
Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?
No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?
I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.
How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?
Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their child’s casket,
watched it perched above a grave?
You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.
If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.
Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."
Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.
I swear that I'll remember
till the day I'm very old,
the friend who sat and held my hand
and let me bare my soul
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You will always be my little boy
Till my very dying day,
The Love and Pride I feel for you
Will never go away.
I miss holding you in my arms
Or you lying on my chest,
Stroking your tiny angel face
Just watching while you rest.
Each day we spent together
You gave me so much joy,
No one could ever make me smile
Like my precious baby boy.
Then that night you went to sleep
And never woke again,
Now all I'm left is emptiness,
Loneliness and pain.
Each morning I wake up
I can't believe that you're not there,
I miss my little man so much
The pain's too hard to bear.
I'll always Love You Billy
Till the day I die,
But just remember that you'll always be
'Mummy's Little Guy'.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am drawn, quietly to his grave to check on him,
Just as I'd have been drawn quietly to his crib.
I trim the grass around his marker,
And dream of trimming bangs from his forehead.
I place flowers in his vase,
And dream of placing kisses on his cheek.
I hold his memory dear to my heart,
And dream of of holding him in my arms.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Below is a poem that was read at Billy's funeral:-
If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I’d walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and then run back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Thank you,"
"Please forgive me," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To My Gorgeous Little Billy...
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious Baby Son xx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I would just like to thank everyone that takes the time to write messages and light candles for
Billy, This web page is such a big comfort for me and it means the world to me that people take the
time to write such lovely things, Thank You again, x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
WITH LOVE AND THANKS ELAINE XXXXX
You're A Real Angel
If an angel is someone who's so filled with love,
it's a gift that they constantly share,
If an angel is someone who looks out for others
and gives them a nudge here and there,
If an angel is someone who touches your life
with a heart that's both joyful and wise,
Then even though you don't have halo or wings,
you're an angel in human disguise.
xxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX
never take someone for granted....hold special people close to your heart....because you might wake up one day and realise that you've lost a diamond while you was too busy collecting stones...send this to a special diamonds in your life we just did x
SENT WITH LOVE XXXXX
♥ If I could have one wish ♥
♥ If i could wish upon a star ♥
♥ I would wish for you back here ♥
♥ I know you're happy where you are ♥
♥ But i miss you and want you near ♥
♥ Although i see you everyday ♥
♥ In my thoughts and in my dreams ♥
♥ I miss you more than words can say ♥
♥ It just gets worse, it seems ♥
♥ I try to be strong for others around ♥
♥ But all i want to do is cry ♥
♥ I just sit for hours by myself ♥
♥ And ask the question 'Why'? ♥
♥ It's the strongest pain I've ever felt ♥
♥ I don't think I could describe it ♥
♥ Although I try, I do my best ♥
♥ I don't think that I can hide it ♥
♥ My life will never be the same ♥
♥ That's why it's hard to bear ♥
♥ Because since the day you left us ♥
♥ I think that life's not fair ♥
♥ Some things seem not to matter now ♥
♥ Even things that mattered before ♥
♥ You have no idea what I would give up ♥
♥ To make this pain less sore ♥
♥ People say we'll meet again ♥
♥ And yeah I know that's true ♥
♥ But I wish it didn't have to be this way ♥
♥ Because you know how much I miss you ♥
♥ I love you with all my heart and soul ♥
♥ And there's one thing you need to know ♥
♥ There's not one person in the human race ♥
♥ That could ever take your place ♥
LOVE ALWAYS ELAINE AND MY ANGELS DEMI-LEIGH, MARY AND JIMMY XXXXXXXXXXXX
THANK YOU MY FRIEND XXXXXX
Xx Pass this on to all your close friends xX
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there
Thank you for all your support
Love always Elaine
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A SPECIAL FRIEND X
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
If u love me as a friend u'll read the whole thing. What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. dont ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love.
If you wake up in a red room with no windows and doors, DON'T panic.. you're just in my heart!!! Send this to all the friends you want to keep forever...
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
Chosen Angels
If tears Could Build Stairways
And Memories A Lane
We Would Walk Straight Up To Heaven
And Bring You Home Again
════╔══╗Gone but
════║══║not forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗xxxxxxxx
═║════════║
═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put this on your
════║══║page if you know
════║══║someone who died
════║══║of Cot Death
A HEART OF GOLD STOPPED BEATING
TWO SHINING EYES AT REST
GOD BROKE OUR HEARTS TO PROVE
HE ONLY TAKES THE BEST
GOD KNOWS YOU HAD TO LEAVE US
BUT YOU DID NOT GO ALONE
FOR PART OF US WENT WITH YOU
THE DAY HE TOOK YOU HOME
TO SOME YOU ARE FORGOTTEN
TO OTHERS JUST PART OF THE PAST
BUT TO THOSE WHO LOVED AND LOST YOU
YOUR MEMORY WILL ALWAYS LAST
hugs
When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high.
If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
They've added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose.
If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From someone special up above.
If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.
If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel lace.
So keep the joy in your heart
If you're lonely my dear friend
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A broken heart will mend.
Love and hugs elaine xxxxxxxxxx
I've listened to the footprints poem
a million times or more
of how when only one set shows
upon the sandy shore
it's the lord carrying us
and taking on our load
and his are the only set
of footprints that showed
But what if when we look
there are no footprints to be found?
all we see is plain and simple
sand upon the ground
no imprints showing that our lord
is carrying us through life
helping us when we feel
we can not handle all this strife
Where is my lord now that i've fallen
and can't seem to get back up?
so tired and lonely
trying to deal with what seems
an overflowing cup
where are those footprints
in the sand
to tell me he's right there?
helping me with problems
and showing that he really does care
Does he have favourites, OH NO
please tell me that's not so
but why does life seem easier
for some people that I know?
and sometimes I just scream out loud
although it seems in vain
but often gets harder each day
to deal with all this pain
And then it dawned on me
as I realize how simple could it be
I wonder why I was so blind
that I truly did not see
it must have been a lightening bolt
that one day gave me light
because out of the clear blue sky
I finally regained my sight
I saw a fluffy white cloud
shaped like an angel dear
that helped me to understand
and see things oh so clear
that's when I saw no footprints
and so often wondered why
my lord carried me on angel wings
when he decided to fly.
_____****__________* **** ______
___***____***____*** __ *** ____
__***________****___ _____***___
_***__________**____ ______***__
_***________________ ______***__
_***_________*IM*___ ______***__
__***_____*THINKING* _____***___
___***_______*OF*___ ____***____
____***_____*YOU*___ ___***_____
______***____♥ ♥ ♥ _____***______
________***_________ ***________
__________***_____** *__________
___________***___*** ___________
____________***_***_ ___________
______________***___ ___________
_______________*____ ___________
Love always elaine and my angel Demi-Leigh xxxxxxx
__#___#_________#___ ___#_________#___#
__#____#_________#__ __#_________#____#
___#____#_________#_ _#_________#____#
___#_____#_______### ###_______#_____#
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___#___##___##____## ##____##___##___#
____#___##___##__### ###__##___##___#
_____#___##___##_### ###_##___##___#
_______#__##_ #BEAUTIFUL#_ _##__ #
_______#__##____#### ####____##__#
_______#___##_____#####____ ##__#
_______#___##___ ANGEL___ ##___#
______#____##____### ###____##____#
_____#____##____#### ####____##____#
____#____##_____#_## ##_#_____##____#
____#____##_____#___ ___#______##____#
____#____##____#____ ____#_____##____#
_____#___#____#_____ _____#_____#___#
______#_____##______ ______##______#
_______#___#________ ________#____#
________#_# _______________ __#_ #
_____*hug*___*hug*__ __*h ug*___*hug*____
___*hug*______*hug*_ *hug*_______*hug*__
__*hug*__________*hu g*__________*hug*__
__*hug*_____________ ___________*hug*___
___*hug*_________ _____________*hug*____
____*hug____________ _________*hug*_____
______*hug*_________ _______*hug*_______
________*hug*_______ _____*hug*_________
__________*hug*_____ ___*hug*___________
_____*hug*___*hug*__ __*hug*___*hug*____
___*hug*______*hug*_ *hug*_______*hug*__
__*hug*__________*hu g*__________*hug*__
__*hug*_____________ ___________*hug*___
___*hug*_______THINK ING________*hug*____
____*hug________OF YOU ________hug*_____
______*hug*_________ ________*hug*______
________*hug*_______ ______*hug*________
__________*hug*_____ ____*hug*___________
___________*hug*____ ___*hug*____________
____________*hug*___ __*hug*___________
_____________*hug*__ _*hug*___________
______________*hug*_ *hug*_____________
_________________*hu g*_______________
Thank you for the love you've shown me.
Thank you for sharing in my accomplishments.
Thank you for giving me a shoulder to lean on.
Thank you for making my life easier.
Thank you for caring about me.
Thank you for spending time with me.
Thank you for always being there when I need you.
Thank you for being my friend.
Thank You For Everything
Big Thankyou for all your support over Baileys death xxxx
Its all much appreciated
Love Fiona and Mark xxx
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